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You are a manager.

If you interact with any other person, at work, at home, in social settings, you are managing people.

So, you’d better get good at it if you expect your relationships to be strong.

The most skilled managers I know are experts at appearing to be interested in us and our feelings.

I say “appearing” because I can’t always be certain they’re really interested or just really skilled at seeming to be interested. If I feel genuinely heard and cared for, does it matter?

Dr. Becky Kennedy, an expert manager who I met through Farnum Street’s Brain Food, says the best line you can use to get people to open up to you is: “I am so glad you’re talking to me about this.”

“It is the most beautiful first line to say to someone when they’re upset because what you’re deeply saying to them and how they receive it is ‘I am interested in the part of you who’s feeling this way. The part of you who’s feeling this way is connectable to me. … I want to hear more about it. I will attach to this part of you.’

And when you tell that to someone, they’re automatically willing to tell you more because it’s like an opening of a door.“

Managing people is a skill. Communicating effectively with others is a skill, and like all skills, it requires lots of practice.

So try that opening line the next time an employee, or one of your children, or a good friend, says something to you that you didn’t expect – or necessarily want – to hear.