There is always a “then” following that “If”

And here it is: “If we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

That line was written by Timothy Kreider.

As I have said countless times to most of the air talent I’ve worked with around the world, I know it’s terrifying to let listeners see the real you.

It’s easy for me, someone who guards his privacy beyond most sane limits, to tell you to stand naked in front of tens of thousands and let them see you as you really are.

But I say it because I know this is true: Only by revealing your own personal flaws and scars will you give yourself the best chance of touching another’s heart, of linking your humanity to another’s listening to you.

One of the reasons social media is linked to depression and loneliness is because it only shows the best version of the person posting and when we compare our reality to the one they choose to share our lives seem small and sad, our failures immense when compared to their successes.

I am not suggesting you purge every personal detail of your life every time you speak on the air.

I’m reminding you that you limit your chances of intimacy with listeners by only sharing that part of you that you want your listeners to love.

The truth is, none of us get to choose the reasons we may be loved by anyone, including those – especially those – who know us best.

Try it. One break in tomorrow’s show. Show the real you. Share one of your fears or one of your failures.

Drop your robe and let them see you as you are, as you really are, with your spouse, with your children, at what you consider to be your worst.

“If we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”