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A Force Greater Than My Will

A Force Greater Than My Will

Finding comfort.

 

The experiences that demanded I yield control to a force greater than my will — diagnoses, deaths, unbreakable vows — weren’t the beginnings or the ends of anything.

 They were the moments when I was forced to admit that beginnings and ends are illusory. That history doesn’t begin or end, but it continues.

 For just a moment, with great effort, I could imagine my will as a force that would not disappear but redistribute when I died, and that all life contained the same force, and that I needn’t worry about my impending death because the great responsibility of my life was to contain the force for a while and then relinquish it.”
                         
                  ~ Sarah Manguso

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